Thanks.

I want to take a minute to thank some folks.   I have been told by a reliable and expensive bottom feeder (lawyer) that as long as I don't mention their surnames (last names you idiots) and that I ask for their permission I'm not going to get my ass sued.

Deep breath - first off, I want to thank Mama (my wife) for listening to my rants about this book while taking great pains NOT to read it.

Jenbo for permission to use a picture of her butt-zee (not really her butt but it could have been in a previous life) her hubby "Fun Bobby" didn't have any say as his ass is way too hairy

Sub-genius Kirk for taking the time to read my work but more importantly for giving it to Holly who took his annoyingly pragmatic and constructive criticism and made it funny

Jock for doing nothing more than laughing so if the book bombs it’s his faulty for making me think it was brilliant

Dobbin for the 10,000 foot suggestions because he knew I would tell him to fuck-off if he got too specific

Tara for being the only wench to read it cover to cover and give me "two" big thumbs up with a promise to kick me in the balls the next time we got together

Thanks to responsible Jay for telling me to remove some of the gratuitous F-Bombs - Fuck off Jay

Thanks to Doctor Phil for convincing me that young people need tangible help and advice, not fluffy bull shit from someone who has never been in a bar brawl or jumped on the ugly grenade for a friend

To the really hard-ass bastards who thought I was funny and therefore did not kick my ass - thank you

To the not so hard-ass bastards who allowed me to kick theirs, a sincere thank you

Thanks to the nameless friends and acquaintances and their bit parts in my life's experiences from the local council workers who’s naughty magazines helped me learn how to wank in sub zero temperatures

To my friends who convinced me that I was “the” crusader for the "Fat Chicks Need Sex As Well" - it all worked out fine

Genuine thanks to all the good looking psycho bitches who did the best they could to fuck with my head - bite me - and I hope your ass and tits finally defied gravity.

Last but not least my two boys who between them, in their own unique way, show me what a complete and utter nightmare I must have been at their age. I love you boys and before I will die I promise I will write another book about all the funny shit you have taught me. Please Enjoy…   

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